Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
