Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
