glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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