Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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