no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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