Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
