There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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