I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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