Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
