Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
