Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
