he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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