My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
