you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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