She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is Oprah even human
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
