i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
