If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
