Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
