i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
