YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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