just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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