Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
His nipple licking is glorious
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