There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
