I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
