I think i peed on brittanys purse
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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