my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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