We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
4 words: hood of his car
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
