He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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