I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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