it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drake has all the answers
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
