he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
