that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
