Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
