i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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