Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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