You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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