ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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