I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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