I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I currently don't understand fingers.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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