Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
