i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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