what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
