so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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