Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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