His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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