Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
