I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
