'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
