He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
