i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
