Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
3 2 1 whiskey
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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