sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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