your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
