His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
